A sincere apology to everyone on VVFF

AnkhWarrior · Post by **AnkhWarrior** » Tue May 07, 2013 12:40 pm

Some already know while others don't. I want to come clean with what I have been up to, and the drama I have been causing here on VVFF. For a short period of time, I went under the name 'VinniesAngel'; posing as one of his Angels and attacking this forum. I was going to type out a message here but decided to paste the full message I had sent to a few members here on the forum, fully explaining my actions. All of this is pretty personal to me but because of the situation, I feel the need to share this with everyone that was affected by my negative posts. Please read.

"I feel the need to leave because I am ashamed. Ashamed for how I feel about Vinnie.

When I first joined this forum as AnkhWarrior, it made me depressed. I was shocked at everything I discovered about Vinnie. I didn't want to believe it but knew it was the truth. Most of the people here are much older, got to experience Vinnie first hand and everything; so you all know what he is truly like.

How this all began? I don't know where to even start.
In all honesty, I have strong love toward Vinnie. Not in love, not sexually attracted or anything like that. I have a fiance I am deeply in love with. With Vinnie it's just a really strong love...and I don't know why?
Ever since i discovered him, I've been, well, obsessed. I don't consider my obsession healthy at all, either. I don't have a job at the moment so all my time is free time. Every day, I look for pictures of him I don't already have. Every day, I try to find some sort of way to contact him. All this makes me feel and look insane.
My fiance knows all about it. He makes fun of me for it and questions my feelings about Vinnie. One day he made me so upset with making fun of me, I ended up destroying 2 VV posters and several pictures I had purchased from Ebay...then I regretted it the next day. It makes me feel so guilty, even though I do not think of Vinnie sexually or anything like that.

The reason why I took on this Vinnie's Angel persona...was mainly to try and get some sort of response from Vinnie. Like I said, I love him deeply, which I know makes me seem insane. And I would have just liked to talk to him. Just to see how he is...
In the introduction section, when I first joined I had posted how I attempted to write him, but didn't get a response. That hurt. I knew how he was already but I had hope. I even wrote him a second time, and no response. This is the first and only time i had ever tried to contact someone well known. I look up to him, even though he's an asshole. Crazy as this sounds, every time I check my mail...I still have hope for a response.

I did all this in hopes he would talk to me and nothing more. I really just want to be friends with him; be there for him so he can have someone to talk to.
I look at myself and question why I stretched this out so far? I see myself as crazy. Am I crazy? Do I need help? Why do I have such strong feelings, yet non-sexual, for someone I have never met and will never meet? I need help.

A part of me envies all of you who were able to talk to Vinnie and experience him in his good days. Because I will never get that.

You say I am welcomed to stay and that you all like me. I feel too ashamed and embarrassed to stay. I truly do want to...but how can something like what I did be forgiven? What I did was rude and I pretty much betrayed you all. I don't feel I have the right to be here.

I know this probably wont help, but I am truly sorry, everyone. I'm sorry for taking on a persona and appearing here, bashing this forum all in the hopes of just being able to talk to Vinnie. I knew it would be unlikely to happen, since he doesn't bring in new people. I figure that even if he did contact me...it would be for all the wrong reasons. I have a fiance and I would choose my lover over Vinnie any day.

I hope everyone who was affected by can forgive me. But no matter how many times I apologize, I will still feel so horrible. To everyone, I am truly sorry. I understand if you refuse to forgive me for my actions, or may need some time. I will respect that. I just hope that I can be accepted again into the VVFF family and be trusted over time. Thank you for listening."

AnkhWarrior/Jessica

Post by **Genebaby** » Tue May 07, 2013 12:46 pm

Things are cool with me Jessica.

As you know I'd like to see you hang around.

You're not the first young lady who has felt this way, and I don't know why myself. I can't explain it.

Vinnie could learn a lot from you today.

Vic

poserboy71 · Post by **poserboy71** » Tue May 07, 2013 12:50 pm

Welcome back.
All is understood and forgiven.

AnkhWarrior · Post by **AnkhWarrior** » Tue May 07, 2013 12:51 pm

Thank you, Vic.

I can't explain why I feel this way either. Hopefully though in time, I will be able to get over all of it, accept reality and focus on things/people in my life that are of actual importance.

Vinnie could learn a lot from everyone here.

The FB is scheduled for deletion; will be deleted in 14 days. It doesn't need to exist.

AceAlive1 · Post by **AceAlive1** » Tue May 07, 2013 1:09 pm

eh, no worries. we've all done things we arent proud of before. i was always told as a god fearing man to forgive.

AnkhWarrior · Post by **AnkhWarrior** » Tue May 07, 2013 1:16 pm

Thank you, Scott. It means a lot.

poserboy71 · Post by **poserboy71** » Tue May 07, 2013 1:25 pm

I will share a part of a discussion that I just had tonight with a close friend that was recently given 2 months to live.

He called to tell me how much our friendship means to him. We have shared a lot throughout the years. He IS family.
Brian has been in his wheelchair for 28 years. Tommy Lasorda from the L.A. Dodgers was actually interested in him pitching for the team at the time that Brian's accident occurred. He ran onto the highway during a baseball team trip to retrieve his LUCKY cap.
Earlier this year, Brian was hospitalized for pneumonia and a few other things.A doctor recently told him that he has a growth in his back that medicine cannot fix and gave him 2 months to live.

During our conversation, We talked of the importance of focusing on WHAT YOU HAVE AND WHO YOU SHARE IT WITH.
Too many times , People fall victim to what they don't have in life.
There was a different plan for Brian. I told him that he's done more for people by SURVIVING AND PERSEVERING than by what might have happened had he turned PRO and threw a baseball for a living. He has inspired me at the lowest times of my life. I finally told him so.
We spoke of how important it is to be real and not fall victim to perception of others.
You don't have to ACT like a man/woman/whatever. One should be able to share feelings OPENLY. To help your fellow man. Share your joy. Share your pain. Always remain POSITIVE in the face of shit.

I told him how I catch myself bitching about walking up stairs or bending down to pick things up and realizing how Brian would give up 9 inches of his cock (but only 9 inches

) to feel the insignificant pain that I feel in my legs at times.

He confided to me that the growth in his back feels like it it has grown bigger. He said he only felt it in his lower back for years and now it feels as though it has grown to reach his shoulders.
Remaining positive is his only course of action now.
I believe that visualization might help him enjoy a little more TIME here on Earth.
I expressed that doctors have been wrong before when he stared down death. He has got to imagine that growth is SHRINKING. He has got to imagine that he is shooting it with a laser every time he starts to mope.
He has to create his own diagnosis.

Brian's favorite musician is Dave Grohl who happens to have been born close to Youngstown (Warren, Ohio).
Through some connections, we have recently reached out to Dave who comes to town more often than people know ,to visit his father who still lives in the area.
We are hoping that Dave might send some positive thoughts towards Brian. Maybe an autograph, guitar pick, phone call, OR A VISIT if he comes to town to see his Dad soon.
I had to tell Brian what I have been up to simply TO GET HIS HOPES UP ANY WAY I could. If it doesn't happen, so be it. Dave is a busy man that has many requests for his time.

The point is to SHARE your feelings immediately, Tell people that you love them, MAKE THE WORLD BETTER BY BEING A POSITIVE EXAMPLE.
The more you concentrate on something, the more it will grow, NURTURE THE POSITIVE AND LOVINGLY ACCEPT WHAT YOU HAVE. There is no shame in keeping your hopes HIGH !!!!
Wasting time is not an option. That is truer for some people more than others.

Appreciation and Love,
Rick

Post by **Genebaby** » Tue May 07, 2013 1:31 pm

Great post Rick!

onefinger · Post by **onefinger** » Tue May 07, 2013 1:43 pm

I' m a Japanese and no good at english,but I understand what Rick says ! That is the reason why I cover the Vinnie's song !

Welcome back Ankhwarrior !!

metatron · Post by **metatron** » Tue May 07, 2013 1:51 pm

Awesome post RickSTAR

Annnnnnnnd all is good Jessica.

AnkhWarrior · Post by **AnkhWarrior** » Tue May 07, 2013 1:54 pm

That was very inspiring, Rick.

You should live, laugh, love. Always let others know how much they mean to you because you never know when it is their time.

And thank you @onefinger

AnkhWarrior · Post by **AnkhWarrior** » Tue May 07, 2013 1:54 pm

Glad to hear that, Dannii

Thanks.

Slayer · Post by **Slayer** » Tue May 07, 2013 2:17 pm

Jessica,
If you haven't already and ever want to take the time to go back through the archives of this forum you will definitely see that your not the only person who has done this and many who have done so have done it in hopes of friendship with Vinnie that never comes. What I read is that you should be proud of one thing in that you are wiser today than you were before. Wiser in knowing that you tried and that when you lay your head on the pillow at night you wont be kept up by the thought of "what if I had only tried". You did try and in fact most of us have tried in some form in our own way. Self esteem tells us that when we reach out with good intentions to someone and they don't welcome us we move on and share our positive energy with someone who wants it and is willing to give us positive energy back in return.

You have a home here as long as you want it little sister!

Kev

AnkhWarrior · Post by **AnkhWarrior** » Tue May 07, 2013 2:28 pm

Slayer wrote:Jessica,
If you haven't already and ever want to take the time to go back through the archives of this forum you will definitely see that your not the only person who has done this and many who have done so have done it in hopes of friendship with Vinnie that never comes. What I read is that you should be proud of one thing in that you are wiser today than you were before. Wiser in knowing that you tried and that when you lay your head on the pillow at night you wont be kept up by the thought of "what if I had only tried". You did try and in fact most of us have tried in some form in our own way. Self esteem tells us that when we reach out with good intentions to someone and they don't welcome us we move on and share our positive energy with someone who wants it and is willing to give us positive energy back in return.

You have a home here as long as you want it little sister!

Kev

Thank you for all that

I feel much better after everything. A weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I realize now what I didn't realize before.

I want to be here for as long as able

Be 90 years old logging on still xD jk
Thanks big bro

shramiac · Post by **shramiac** » Tue May 07, 2013 4:15 pm

Cheese and crackers!!!!!

All deserve forgiveness if they admit their errors! So welcome back, even though you didn't really leave!

Now as punishisment........you have to do a nude run!!!!

I'm just kidding of course.......I only wanna see Rick naked!

AnkhWarrior · Post by **AnkhWarrior** » Tue May 07, 2013 4:27 pm

Rick is the man of everyone's dreams, men and women

Portillo · Post by **Portillo** » Tue May 07, 2013 5:53 pm

If you really want to meet him, go to Tennessee and track him down. Thats the only way you will quench your obsession.

doublev2 · Post by **doublev2** » Tue May 07, 2013 9:21 pm

wow this was a surprise.. well good on you for coming out, makes you stronger to do that!! Totally understand what you were doing. You have to talk like that to became and vv angel unfortuneatly. Does that mean that the fb page vvangel is you as well? no problem if it is.

AnkhWarrior · Post by **AnkhWarrior** » Wed May 08, 2013 1:27 am

Portillo wrote:If you really want to meet him, go to Tennessee and track him down. Thats the only way you will quench your obsession.

Eh, I've thought about that once I stop being poor. If I did manage to do that, all I would want is to do an interview, get an autograph and shake the mans hand. But like that would ever happen

And this is how my fiance would react to going to TN - "I ain't going thousands of miles with you to TN just so you can interview some fag. You're on your own. Better yet, you're NOT going" lol my typical lover.

AnkhWarrior · Post by **AnkhWarrior** » Wed May 08, 2013 1:31 am

doublev2 wrote:wow this was a surprise.. well good on you for coming out, makes you stronger to do that!! Totally understand what you were doing. You have to talk like that to became and vv angel unfortuneatly. Does that mean that the fb page vvangel is you as well? no problem if it is.

Thank you

And yeah, that FB page was all me as well. But it's entering the deletion process and will be gone in about 13 days.

n3p · Post by **n3p** » Wed May 08, 2013 3:35 am

shramiac wrote:Cheese and crackers!!!!!

All deserve forgiveness if they admit their errors! So welcome back, even though you didn't really leave!

Now as punishisment........you have to do a nude run!!!!

I'm just kidding of course.......I only wanna see Rick naked!

I concur. Obviously we'll need photographic evidence

wolfgang161272 · Post by **wolfgang161272** » Wed May 08, 2013 4:22 am

Hey AnkhWarrior,
All is good and cool with you!
Welcome back here,
Wolfi

AnkhWarrior · Post by **AnkhWarrior** » Wed May 08, 2013 4:28 am

Thank you wolfgang

AceAlive1 · Post by **AceAlive1** » Wed May 08, 2013 6:08 am

shramiac wrote:Cheese and crackers!!!!!

All deserve forgiveness if they admit their errors! So welcome back, even though you didn't really leave!

Now as punishisment........you have to do a nude run!!!!

I'm just kidding of course.......I only wanna see Rick naked!

nude run by ankhwarrior, you say?!?!?!

*starts eating popcorn*

Post by **Genebaby** » Wed May 08, 2013 6:28 am

Oh dear!!

AnkhWarrior · Post by **AnkhWarrior** » Wed May 08, 2013 6:44 am

You're all bad lol

But I deal with it cuz i love ya all- platonically of course

PinkWiz · Post by **PinkWiz** » Wed May 08, 2013 7:07 am

C'mon AW, do it for the team!

shramiac · Post by **shramiac** » Wed May 08, 2013 9:04 am

Of course to "serious up" the discussion, it all looks like it was some conspiracy theory plan concocted by the VVFF to flush out Vinnie! Which doesn't look good for us from a certain point of view?!

AnkhWarrior · Post by **AnkhWarrior** » Wed May 08, 2013 9:34 am

PinkWiz wrote:C'mon AW, do it for the team!

Someday...someday

Slayer · Post by **Slayer** » Wed May 08, 2013 2:42 pm

AnkhWarrior · Post by **AnkhWarrior** » Wed May 08, 2013 2:57 pm

Lmao eww...I assume they have hairy twats to keep them warm in the winter? Id rather have mine freeze.

BigEd · Post by **BigEd** » Thu May 09, 2013 12:39 pm

Ms. Warrior...Our fearless leader Vic & various Elder's have shown you leniency, hopefully you will learn from your mistakes...as part of your sentencing 50 paddling's will be administered to you by the Sergeant At Arms, our very own "Poserboy"

AnkhWarrior · Post by **AnkhWarrior** » Thu May 09, 2013 1:15 pm

Lmao! XD good one

PinkWiz · Post by **PinkWiz** » Thu May 09, 2013 1:42 pm

Damn, AW's ass is RED in that pic!

Portillo · Post by **Portillo** » Thu May 09, 2013 3:11 pm

shramiac wrote:Of course to "serious up" the discussion, it all looks like it was some conspiracy theory plan concocted by the VVFF to flush out Vinnie! Which doesn't look good for us from a certain point of view?!

Ankh ruined any chance we had of Vinnie coming to this forum.

AnkhWarrior · Post by **AnkhWarrior** » Thu May 09, 2013 3:30 pm

PinkWiz wrote:Damn, AW's ass is RED in that pic!

Yep, being pale is a bitch. Everything turns red like a tomato.

doublev2 · Post by **doublev2** » Thu May 09, 2013 9:21 pm

Just out of interest that message from vinnie sounded just like him. Was that passed to you to post here?

AnkhWarrior · Post by **AnkhWarrior** » Thu May 09, 2013 9:52 pm

Who? And what message?

doublev2 · Post by **doublev2** » Fri May 10, 2013 2:43 am

When you said you were passing on a message and vv is cool with kma and ankh warrior

AnkhWarrior · Post by **AnkhWarrior** » Fri May 10, 2013 3:33 am

No it wasn't really from Vinnie. I had to play 'the part' do I tried to make it all as realistic as possible. Really sorry for all of it.

I guess I was just good at knowing his personality and how he would act/what he would sat....but it was all my doing.

doublev2 · Post by **doublev2** » Fri May 10, 2013 5:41 am

It was convincingly vinnie.

AnkhWarrior · Post by **AnkhWarrior** » Fri May 10, 2013 6:02 am

I know I shouldn't, but I'll take that as a compliment.

PinkWiz · Post by **PinkWiz** » Fri May 10, 2013 7:14 am

AW, are u referring to the VinniesAngel post from a couple of days ago? Or are u apologizing for something u did last year... or two years ago?

I'm confused...

... as always.

AnkhWarrior · Post by **AnkhWarrior** » Fri May 10, 2013 7:22 am

PinkWiz wrote:AW, are u referring to the VinniesAngel post from a couple of days ago? Or are u apologizing for something u did last year... or two years ago?

I'm confused...

... as always.

The post is me apologizing for the VinniesAngel posts

poserboy71 · Post by **poserboy71** » Fri May 10, 2013 7:40 am

BigEd wrote:Ms. Warrior...Our fearless leader Vic & various Elder's have shown you leniency, hopefully you will learn from your mistakes...as part of your sentencing 50 paddling's will be administered to you by the Sergeant At Arms, our very own "Poserboy"

This should be quoted a lot in this thread so we can have as many of these pictures as we possibly can.YUMMY.

Thanks to BigEd !!!!

PinkWiz · Post by **PinkWiz** » Fri May 10, 2013 8:52 am

poserboy71 wrote:
BigEd wrote:Ms. Warrior...Our fearless leader Vic & various Elder's have shown you leniency, hopefully you will learn from your mistakes...as part of your sentencing 50 paddling's will be administered to you by the Sergeant At Arms, our very own "Poserboy"
This should be quoted a lot in this thread so we can have as many of these pictures as we possibly can.YUMMY.

Thanks to BigEd !!!!

PinkWiz · Post by **PinkWiz** » Fri May 10, 2013 8:52 am

PinkWiz wrote:
poserboy71 wrote:
BigEd wrote:Ms. Warrior...Our fearless leader Vic & various Elder's have shown you leniency, hopefully you will learn from your mistakes...as part of your sentencing 50 paddling's will be administered to you by the Sergeant At Arms, our very own "Poserboy"
This should be quoted a lot in this thread so we can have as many of these pictures as we possibly can.YUMMY.

Thanks to BigEd !!!!

poserboy71 · Post by **poserboy71** » Fri May 10, 2013 9:28 pm

PinkWiz wrote:
PinkWiz wrote:
poserboy71 wrote:
BigEd wrote:Ms. Warrior...Our fearless leader Vic & various Elder's have shown you leniency, hopefully you will learn from your mistakes...as part of your sentencing 50 paddling's will be administered to you by the Sergeant At Arms, our very own "Poserboy"
This should be quoted a lot in this thread so we can have as many of these pictures as we possibly can.YUMMY.

Thanks to BigEd !!!!

MatthewF · Post by **MatthewF** » Sat May 11, 2013 2:50 am

Sadomasochism FTW!

AnkhWarrior · Post by **AnkhWarrior** » Sat May 11, 2013 3:05 am

Now where are all the dangling chains, machines and chloroform?